Deep

9 days of sobriety, clean from my addiction to pornography.  This is not the first time I have tried, it’s not the longest I have ever gone, but I want this out of my life, my family, and for the sake of my family.

The other day I was listening to a Podcast of preacher who spoke on lust. As I was driving down the road listening to him speak, I was crying, openly sobbing. As he spoke I could not help by resonate with what he was saying. In his sermon, he reference a book called “…feels like redemption” by Seth Taylor.

Seth in his book speaks about that fact that porn addiction is like any other addiction. Addiction is seeking to medicate something deeper, more internal that we can see on the surface. We must ask the question, “Where does this come from?” Seth again says that there is something in our life we are seeking to ignore or forget, therefore we consciously unconsciously try to medicate, with drugs, alcohol, porn, and any other addictive sedative..

I have in my life always tried to live in the moment of time, forgetting the past and focusing on the now of life. Maybe that’s the problem…maybe I need to look to the past, to gain a perspective on my future?

SO….where does this come from? In the coming days…I have been and will be examining this…I am honestly scared at what may come up….my life is not rainbows and fairies, far from it. But I honestly want to know what I am trying to medicate, cover, ignore, or forget…

For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. Matthew 6:21

Advertisements