Still sleeping on the couch…my wife let me know she can barely look at me let alone speak to me. I miss her! But I completely understand this is totally my fault in every way. I ruined it, 16 years of marriage, 18 months of sexual purity, and my family.

I was listening to Judah Smith today. Judah spoke about how discipline is training. That using discipline helps us see the future of our righteousness and peace. But discipline always sucks! It may be good, but it sucks.

I struggle with pornography for 22 years. On and off again. Sometimes I have gone really well. When I got married, I thought it would all be over. This hot girl is my wife and we can have sex all the time, I won’t need porn. But it pulls you back in, sometimes not even knowing the how or the why.

Throughout my marriage, I have struggle with it. Hoping that God will remove this thorn from my side. Praying, pleading, and begging for God’s intervention. Intervention always came, but never how I would have like…intervention was my wife finding something on my computer, phone, or iPad.

Discipline sucks! But I am praying for God’s intervention and for the Holy Spirit to produce a harvest of righteousness and peace through this discipline.

No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. Hebrews 12:11


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